Monday, January 5, 2009

The haunting cry of a baby

I hear or think I hear Tristan crying everywhere I go.  In the office, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in my dreams even.  When Jean-Louis watches after him and I try to nap, I hear him.  At night, I am always on the look out.  I am not a deep sleeper so I pretty much hear every noise he makes since he sleeps in his crib right at the end of our bed.  There is no escape and his cry, like all babies cries, makes you want to attend to him.  The cry of a baby is designed to be annoying else, parents would ignore them.  It is especially disturbing to me since I am his mother.  I close my eyes and I hear him cry.  Man, I sure hope we have reached the peak of his crying.

No, it's no fun dealing with a crying baby.  There is so much of it too!  The past few days with Jean-Louis home for the winter break, it seemed like Tristan only wanted to be with mommy sometimes.  I was the only one that could soothe him.  It makes me feel special and Jean-Louis inadequate.  We thought it was the smell so as a test Jean-Louis wore one of my breastfeeding shirts and that didn't work.  I think it's the way he holds and rocks him.  I also think it has to do with Jean-Louis' negative attitude and his lack of skills in trying to calm people down while talking to them.  I noticed this a lot when I was in labour and I had a very hard time relaxing on my own.  Anyway, all this means that I have to be with Tristan even more and it's more work for me!  I need to rest too and Tristan needs to recognize and want to go to his daddy.  In time, I'm sure that will be the case.

On a positive note, breastfeeding is really coming along.  My milk is just flowing these days and because of it, Tristan doesn't even have to suck hard to get milk so even if the latch is not perfect, it won't hurt and my nipples are safe :)  That's not to say I'm not trying to latch him on properly because I do but it's challenging since he's dressed heavily and I'm dressed heavily because of my cold allergy.  I'm actually impressed at how much milk I have.  And it's true, when Tristan cries, milk drips and I can hardly get it in his mouth fast enough without making a big sticky mess!  I think that's fascinating!


Related Posts with Thumbnails