Why we celebrate Christmas

Jean-Louis is atheist. I'm agnostic. However he was raised Catholic and I was raised Buddhist. I love Christmas. Him? Not so much but we're celebrating it anyway.

Christmas to me is like another holiday to celebrate with family and friends, much like Thanksgiving. The feasting is one of my favorite parts. Big surprise :) I mean we could cook turkey and feast almost any time of the year but knowing that this is part of tradition and that almost everyone else is doing it at the same time makes me feel like I'm included and part of something greater. I have a lot of fun decorating for Christmas and having the house look nice makes the holidays feel more festive. We also go shopping and give out gifts because it's also part of tradition and pretty much everyone participates. Even if you don't give out anything, you will likely receive something and feel bad for not giving back.

I had fond memories of Christmas growing up. My parents always decorated the house and we had gifts under the Christmas tree. Back in the 1980s, my family was very Buddhist but they were also learning how to be Canadian. We didn't have turkey and any of the traditional feast until I was around 13 or 14 since my parents didn't know how to cook or eat that stuff. When I was old enough, I took over cooking the turkey and food for the family.

Of course Christmas is celebrated 10x more now that we have a child. Before Tristan arrived, we had just a few decorations up and when we lived in Paris, we didn't have a thing. I have to confess I was pretty sad around Christmas time :( Somehow Jean-Louis is a Grinch. He sort of hates Christmas. I guess because he sees it too much like a religious celebration. He also thinks the whole Santa thing is ridiculous. He doesn't get why all these stories have to be made up for Christmas. When I asked him why, he actually doesn't remember much. I told him that it had to do with his past. Something must have happened to have made him a Grinch. He thinks it's possible that maybe he was super pissed when he found out that Santa was not real. He knows that his parents still talks about Santa today. Oh boy! Imagine that.

We had our first Christmas tree last year when Tristan was two. We filled the tree with gifts, mostly for him and we did the traditional meal. Now that I'm a part time stay-at-home mom, I also do the Christmas baking. This is somewhat still new to me. It's just my second year doing it but it is so much fun! We do Christmas activities like the Christmas train and we visit gingerbread displays. When it snows, we build a snowman, play in the snow, and go tobogganing. I am now living my Christmas through Tristan's eye and I love it :) I'm excited and happy just to see his excitement! Jean-Louis agrees with me there. He will do anything for Tristan so he has no problem celebrating Christmas :)

When I think of Christmas, I don't think of Jesus. I think of Christmas tree and decorations, Christmas music, turkey feast, presents, giving to family and friends, charity, shopping, extra time off to relax from work, spending time with family and loved ones, chocolates, eggnog lattes, warm cozy sweaters, colors, and snow. It's a time to celebrate with everyone and wish everyone a season's greeting and merry Christmas! I can never be a Grinch. Christmas is too fun and I love it! :)

For your amusement, you can read what other atheists, agnostics and non-believers say about celebrating Christmas too. That was what prompted me to write this post.

What's awesome about your life?

Recently I read an article about one of the worst questions you can ask at a party: Why Ask "So What Do You Do?" It's funny because it's also one of the first questions you get asked by someone that doesn't know you. It has happened to most of us and I have asked others the same question myself. In fact, I witnessed this exact thing this past weekend at a party. It was pretty much the exact question stranger A asked stranger B when they first sat down.Whether you like it or not, it has become one of those lines you use at a party or gathering. I always kind of thought that it would be a good start to get to know someone. What you do for work says a lot about you. However, your work does not define you and apparently, some people like the author of the above article, Lissa Rankin really doesn't like being asked "what do you do?" I am so glad someone else said it first. Although I have accepted the question of "what do you do," I personally hate being asked that myself. It is this question that has made me shy away from a lot of gatherings, especially in the past when I was merely a bored stay-at-home wife.

"What do you do?" is one of the worst questions you can ask someone at a social gathering. There are places where it would be suitable to ask that question but for a social gathering where you are suppose to mingle and have a good time, it would be better not to ask a stranger "what do you do?" At least not at the first meeting and out of the blue. Like Lissa states, once you answer this question, you get placed inside a box. A stay-at-home mom? Well you get placed in the same box as all the other stay-at-home moms and you are stereotypically viewed as being home at lot, playing with your kids, taking naps, not doing much all day and whatever else stay-at-home moms are generalized as. As a part time stay-at-home mom myself, I know that we do a heck of a lot. In fact, there's not a single thing we don't do! Are you a work-outside-of-home mom? If so you get placed in the box where people assume you don't spend any time with your kids and that you are not raising them yourself and you care more about work than your kids etc. There may be good assumptions about you too but the bad ones may just be nasty! Obviously, being placed inside any box would be a bad thing.

Now that we are aware of the worst question to ask at a party, what would be a good question to ask? Lissa likes to ask "what is awesome about your life?" I personally love that question myself. This question would spark all sorts of positive answers and who wouldn't want to share their life's awesomeness with others? The truth is people love to talk about themselves and brag so here is their chance! Just as a comparison, here are my answers to "what do you do?" and "what is awesome about your life?"

What do you do?
I am a part time work-at-home mom and part time stay-at-home mom. For work, I design software and websites for user experience and manage projects. As a mom, I take care of my 3 year old son and make sure everything like chores, bills, and appointments are taken care of.

What is awesome about your life?
So much is awesome about my life! My husband, son and I are whole and in perfect health. We spend a lot of time together every day, even when my son is in daycare that day. Lucky for us, we can drop him off late and he doesn't sleep until 9PM so it gives us plenty of quality time. We go on vacations at least once a year and normally to hot tropical places. We all get plenty of sleep! We eat great food because I like to cook. My son loves to talk and laugh with us. He is a big reason why life is awesome these days. He's a great little kid:) I love event planning and having a child allows me to throw cute and fun birthday parties. It's totally awesome. I think I have finally reached a balance in life where I could be happy with for awhile. I get to stay at home and spend lots of time with my son, Tristan, as well as work part time and continue to contribute to projects I have been working on for years.

I love it! Next time I am ever in the position to break the ice with a stranger at a gathering, I'm going to ask them what is awesome about their life :)

Grateful for Jean-Louis and daycare

Tonight I read an article featured on CNN on Why we get mad at our husbands. It starts off as though it was me writing the article. Jean-Louis and I just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this past August too! Then I read on and in between the laughter here and there, I came to realize how Jean-Louis could be viewed as a super-dad to the average person. To me, he is just a good dad. We have always shared chores and responsibilities so I did not expect anything less when we had a child. After reading the article I feel even luckier to have him.

There was a followup article titled Mad At Dad Part Two: How to Get Past the Anger and it mentioned that "there is a message that fathers who pitch in are somehow special." The article talks about how to get fathers to pitch in more at home and encourages a fifty-fifty partnership. At home, I do more but Jean-Louis does way more on the day-job front. It all sort of balances out. We are happy about how things are working out. We both work, contribute to chores, and we both get to spend a lot of time with Tristan too. When we can, we both try to pick Tristan up from daycare together. I know it doesn't take both of us to go but we want to. He is only going to be this young once. Jean-Louis and I pretty much do everything together. It has always been like that.

I don't get angry much thanks to Jean-Louis and daycare. I am extremely grateful for these resources. I have a lot of me time and it's great. Many of the women out there who are angry have too much on their plate and they don't have the resources to help them. It's understandable. I would probably be on anxiety pills if I were them. I have Jean-Louis who pitches in at home a lot. Jean-Louis cleans the bathrooms, vacuums, plays with Tristan a lot, gives Tristan a bath five times a week, does the dishes every night, puts Tristan to sleep every night, and let's me sleep in on the weekends. We all go to the mall together to grocery shop and he usually watches Tristan in the store while I walk around and shop. When it's a party day, I do all the cooking but Jean-Louis will tiny up the living room and sweep the floors without being asked. Honestly, I think this is all normal and every husband and father should be contributing where they can. All the fathers I know are hands-on, maybe not as hands-on as Jean-Louis but they do a lot too. The fact that society views this as "special" is sort of sad.

I also have a great daycare nearby. It allows me plenty of time to get work done, run chores and do whatever I want for me time. If anything, I feel like I need to do more. I'm working more these days so that feels great. When Tristan was in daycare and I wasn't working much, I felt a lot of guilt since we were "losing" income and I was available to take care of him. Thank goodness we're no longer in that situation. I love this flexible schedule! I know one day I will return to working full time so right now I'm enjoying being a part time stay-at-home mom and part time work-at-home mom. Yes, I still get angry from time to time but nothing like the examples in those articles above that I read. Reading something like that really makes you appreciate what you have. Thanks to Jean-Louis and daycare, I feel pretty lucky! :)

Playdates for us, Game Jam for Daddy

On Sunday, Jean-Louis had his game jam hackathon so I made plans for Tristan and I. We had a playdate in the morning with a friend I met on Twitter. She's actually my very first real-life friend encounter from online. We saw each other a couple of other times but we actually got to sit and chit chat this time. She has a daughter who is a few months older than Tristan. They didn't play with each other until 30 minutes after. It was a short play date but like always it was nice to have company over. My friend also brought over homemade Tiramisu and I had tons of sugar cookies. Unfortunately, she was still fasting for Lent and couldn't have any cookies :( Her daughter had some though and so did Tristan. I decorated the elephant cookies just for the little people!

In the afternoon after Tristan's nap, we went over to my sister's place and Tristan played with his two cousins, a 6 year old and a 3 year old. A couple of hours later we were home and Jean-Louis was on his way back too. Luckily with all the company, the day kind of flew by. The past four days with Tristan seemed like a long time. It reminded me of the first year, before daycare when I stayed home a lot with Tristan. I'm pretty sure I was sort of insane back then.

Jean-Louis had a nice day with his Tweeple at the game jam. They had coffee, cookies, lunch and got to leave early. Sounds like the perfect work day to me! He showed me the game he created in the 8 hours he was there and it was cool. It was very basic but it was functioning :) Because of last minute cancellations, there were only three Developers there, including him. Obviously, I shouldn't have made the second batch of cookies. Not only that, but one of the guys was allergic to wheat and couldn't eat any. Basically, I made over 50 cookies for just one new person to eat. Well, two, if you count my friend's daughter. *Big sigh*

Potty training is slow but working

In our household, there isn't much pressure for potty training. We're taking it easy and it's slow but it seems to be progressing. I hear that most babies are potty trained by the time they turn 3 years old. Girls, in general, will be trained earlier since they tend to not like to feel uncomfortable.

We started training Tristan early. We introduced the potty to him when he was 1 year old, maybe even before. We really began to train him after we got back from France when he was 18 months old. He showed signs of readiness early. Before he was even 1 years old, he would point at his diaper when he pooed. Later on, he would sign to us and then when he could speak, he would tell us after he pooed. Then as time went on about the time when he turned two, he would tell us before he had to poo. Then he would tell us before he had to pee. Overall, it was a hit and miss for us. He did it some times but not all the time.

When Tristan turned two, we sort of put more pressure on him to potty but then we noticed it was backfiring so we had to relax. I mean he stopped making progress for awhile and was scared of the potty. I know! Another problem was that daycare was not training him the same way. We find that they are more focused on getting the older kids on the potty since they are the next ones to graduate from the toddler room. The younger kids sit on the potty when it is convenient to do so.

Tristan is now 25 months old. At home, he poos in the potty 85% of the time and pees once or twice a day. During his three days in daycare, he may get lucky and poo in the potty once and he may pee once there as well. One day last week while he was home with me, he pooed in the potty once and peed there three times. I consider that a good potty day :)

He is definitely making progress but he's still far from being potty trained. We were way too optimistic starting out but now we're just going to go with the flow. I think he will be ready when he is ready. Maybe we'll upgrade him to pull-ups or some kind of training pants in a month. I think it would help for him to feel more uncomfortable so that he will tell us more often before a pee occurs. We're not quite prepared to have him go bottomless though because we're fully carpeted here :(

Our potty strategy is pretty simple. We put him on the potty before every diaper change, some times more. We go sit on the potty for a good length of time after meals. While we are on the potty, we read, sing, and talk. If there is a successful pee or poo, we give him a high-five and cheer. Praise is his only reward and some times bragging rights to me or Jean-Louis :) Next, we diaper him. If there was a successful potty, we then let him flush. Then, we have him wash his hands.

Tristan may very well be all trained by now if I were doing things differently. I know of a friend who trained her 27 month old toddler boy in just two months. She placed him on the potty every hour for two months. Wow! That is a lot of commitment. I could do that for awhile but not that long and the daycare routine would just mess it all up. Unfortunately her strategy does not work with our routine :( But honestly, I'm not too sad about it all. Tristan poos in the potty most of the time and diapering seems so easy now compared to when he was on solids and pooing in his diaper 3-4 times a day :)

Learning all the hows-to of making sugar cookies

I'm not a big cookie person. In fact, I see myself more of a cook than a baker. I tasted sugar cookies a few times before and they were just okay. I do like shortbread and butter cookies though and when I found a sugar cookie recipe that tasted a lot like those, I have been a fan. To be honest, I am more of a fan of making sugar cookies than eating them. The challenge of decorating them is appealing to me. It's all about the presentation and presentation is something I don't focus a lot on in my cooking. Now, I get to work on that a bit. I'm learning a lot in the process too.

I made my first batch of sugar cookies during Thanksgiving. I had one piping tool, which I didn't use correctly and a cookie press that did not work. I manually cut out pumpkins with my knife on the dough. I bought icing but the only orange they had was cake icing, which ended up looking thick and horrible on the cookie. It took forever and even though they tasted great, it was overall a bad first experience:(

My second attempt at sugar cookies was during Halloween. All the other Mommys were baking for their kids so I thought I would too. Like everything I do though, I set out with overly optimistic goals for myself. I learned from my first experience and this time I made sure I had all my cookie cutters. No more of this manual nonsense! :) I cut our pumpkins, cats, and round cookies. I made my own royal icing so I could create whatever colors I would need. I tried mixing liquid food colors to get orange and black but failed miserably. Orange looked like pink and black was a muddy gray. My piping tool was too big so I couldn't add the fine details on the cat. It just looked like a blob. My spiderweb looked cool on the round cookies but the spider was another blob. I didn't have enough piping bags for all the colors so I made my own out of plastic bags. I just cut a whole in one corner. I was still using the piping tool all wrong and icing would ooze out of everywhere. It was a huge mess:( On top of that I ended up throwing away one of the decorating tips in the trash! It must have been hidden in the icing and I didn't see it:(

My third attempt was much easier but I didn't have very optimistic goals for decorating. The cookies had colored dough and messages on them. They were birthday cookies for Tristan. The decorations were minimal. Since I kept getting my piping tool wrong, I researched on youtube beforehand on how to prepare a piping bag for icing. It turns out I had to unscrew the couplers before attaching the tip in between. I didn't even know that part unscrewed. Duh. What a cookie noob I am!

My fourth and most recent attempt was good. I can only get better at each attempt, right? This time I made sure I researched everything I needed. This attempt was going to be gifts for the daycare staff and I didn't want to look like a fool. I went out and bought more supplies such as disposable piping bags, couplers, a replacement tip for the one I accidentally threw away, gel colors, and Christmas themed cookie cutters. I even researched the designs I would do instead of free-styling it. There was one design in particular that I was worried about. I had a Santa cutter and it looked difficult. I made sure I drew this one out properly so I would have the right template. I traced it a few times and colored it with Tristan's crayon markers. I had a bad feeling it was going to be a big fail. Fine details on such a small cookie? But knowing me, I did it anyway. The result was a fail but not a huge fail. I tested out my foodsafe pens beforehand but when I went to color on the cookie, it wouldn't color right. Go figure. I had to improvise and my Santa turned out recognizable. That is about all I can say. The Christmas trees were the nicest. The snowflakes had potential. The cookies were give-able! Yay.


Every time I make sugar cookies, I learn something new. Next time, I need to get a few more finer decorating tips. I know some people use a paintbrush to decorate and I thought I would need one too but it turns out I can use a tiny spoon to spread the icing and for the smaller areas, a toothpick works just fine. I wouldn't have known if I didn't try :) Piping the edges and then flooding the cookie is too painful to do so I'm glad this shortcut works. I also have to be more patient and wait for icing to fully dry before applying more icing or color. Liquid food color doesn't work well for drawing eyes. Next time I will need to use gel colors or just thicker icing. I have to be careful not to make my icing too runny as well. This was definitely the case for my Santas!

So there you have it. I have been obsessing about decorating sugar cookies lately since it's Christmas and all. I plan to give away lots for gifts. Since I took so many pictures, I thought I would document it here so that other sugar cookie newbies can learn from my experience. It's new, it's challenging, it's fun, and it actually tastes good :) Good luck!

Daycare gets chocolates & homemade cookies for Christmas

StrongStart BC Centre and Neighborhood House

Last Thursday, we went to the Neighborhood House in South Burnaby. It was recommended to me from a friend I ran into at the Edmond's Community fair. She volunteers at the neighborhood house as an interpreter. The neighborhood houses are available for adults and children to socialize. Parent days are held every Tuesday and Thursdays from 9:30 to 11:30AM. Tristan and I can walk there in around 40 minutes. Yeah, it was quite far but the trip was worth it! The drop-ins are free for everyone and the kids get to play and learn in an environment much like daycare. They do collect membership fees for $5 a year and this allows you to receive newsletters, participate in a variety of programs, and attend annual general meetings.

I was surprised to learn that there was a schedule. There was play time, clean-up time, snacks were provided, reading, circle time with songs and reading etc. It was so much like daycare, except that the parents were there as well. There were two staff present and about a dozen children. We were served bananas, oranges, and crackers for our snack. We also had cups of water. All the plates and cups were provided. The playroom was very large and there was a lot of space in the hallway for stroller parking. There were lots of toys and they were all of good condition. Overall, it was much more than what I had expected :) The only downside is that it's quite far to walk and it would be a bit of a pain to walk if it rained a lot.

Today, we went to the StrongStart BC Centre at Stride Avenue Community School. It was a last minute decision because we were running very late for the Neighborhood House. I was planning to check out the StrongStart centre anyway and since it was close by, I decided we should just go there. To my surprise, the centre was very much like the neighborhood house. I think the neighborhood house had better toys but circle time was a lot more fun at the StrongStart centre. The room at the centre was smaller, there were a lot more kids, and there was only one staff on duty. During snack time, we were served grapes, apples, and animal cookies on paper towels. I notice there was a brital filter container of water but you would have to serve yourself. Some parents brought their own plates and cutlery. I had my own water so that was fine. Again, I didn't know that snack was provided. There was only a small sink and cleaning area and I noticed the floor was wet from all the kids washing their hands. In comparison, the neighborhood house had a full kitchen room.

Lucky for us, today the public health dental staff was at the community school and we were invited to get fluoride varnish for Tristan's teeth and have him examined by a hygienist. Apparently, these healthcare professionals travel from school to school so they were only there that day. We haven't brought Tristan into the dentist yet and I was definitely interested in having his teeth inspected. They were able to squeeze us into their appointment schedule so I filled out their consent form. The hygienist applauded us on brushing twice a day but when I mentioned we use Orajel because it can be swallowed, I got lectured on not using fluoride. She said that fluoride should be used right away when teething first starts. Only a pea-size toothpaste is needed on the toothbrush and that would be harmless to swallow. She also mentioned that Tristan should only be drinking from a cup now and that bottle sucking is not good for his teeth. Then she looked at his teeth and said that they looked good. She applied the flouride varnish on him and he was so good about it all. He didn't even move. I'm not sure why but he is surprisingly cooperative at these sorts of things. Every vaccination visit we've had, he doesn't move much either. We then walked away with a toothbrush and a sticker :)

I admit that the Neighborhood House has a better facility overall and even the families there were friendlier than the StrongStart centre we visited today. However, because of the convenience in location and availability of the StrongStart centre by us, we will likely go there more often. They are open Monday to Friday 9-12PM. Since they are located inside a school, they operate during school days. Tomorrow is Pro-D day for elementary students so the centre is also closed.

Wordless Wednesday: Copycat!

Getting back into the cooking and baking of things

There isn't as much professional work for me these days so I have been spending more time in the kitchen. Tristan is still too young to help me out without making a huge mess of things so I try to cook or bake while he is napping or in daycare. I thought about letting him have his own corner and sift flour or something but then I thought about all the things that could go wrong e.g. him not staying in the corner and running around the living room with flour. If our place wasn't carpeted and was easier to clean up, that would be less of a problem. Then there is him not wanting to listen to us even when we yell and it's just too dangerous to be operating an oven with him around. We have baby aprons for him too and I am really looking forward to the day we can use them!

Back in my younger, more energetic days, I would spend all day in the kitchen cooking. I would wake up in the morning, start preparing food, take a break for lunch, then cook some more until it was time for dinner. It wasn't that I was slow. I would just cook way too much food. Why? Because I grew up with a family that cooked a lot and ate a lot. I had to learn the hard way how to cook for just two people. Ok, I didn't do this every day but I spent a lot of time cooking or doing things related to cooking such as looking at recipes, grocery shopping etc. I was a cooking geek, especially when I was a stay-at-home housewife.

On friday, I made blueberry-banana muffins. I'm not a muffin person but I made them for Jean-Louis. I was going to make tarts because it was quick and easy but he said he wasn't much of a tart person. It turns out that muffins were just a little bit more work to make and it was well worth it. The recipe I found was yum! Not only that but there is whole wheat flour in it and I only used 1/3 cup of sugar in the recipe for 12 muffins.


The ingredients made it sound pretty healthy so I actually tried to offer it to Tristan but he refused to taste it. I removed the top part since it had nuts and more sugar but I think he would have refused the entire thing as well. He has never had any sweets besides arrowroot biscuits. I think if he had tried it, he would have asked for more but now that I think about it, gooey blueberry muffins really don't look appetizing to people that have never encountered it before. At 20 months, Tristan is a picky eater and is refusing to eat foods based on just their appearance. It's funny because I had the video camera ready and everything and he just looked at it and then tried to throw it around. Ugh!

We don't have a nanny but we do have daycare

Help makes a big difference. No matter how small, it makes a difference to parents of small children. It wasn't until we got into daycare when our baby was 13 months old did I finally get to enjoy a bit of "me" time. Daycare help has made life more enjoyable overall for my baby and I. As a family, we are healthier because I can better take care of things at home and we get more exercise. The downside is the high cost of daycare and only one steady paycheck. Hey, we can't have it all! :)

I often give daycare a lot of credit for helping us out because before them, it was just us. When I say just us, I really mean it too. We had no help from family or friends. In fact, at 20 months, Tristan is just getting to know all of his grandparents. Like many "normal" parents, we also don't hire help such as cleaners, cooks, nannies etc. If it's something one of us can do, we do it. Jean-Louis takes a vacation day every now and then so we can go on a date while Tristan is in daycare. It has worked out quite well :)

Even with Tristan in daycare part time and I am at home to take charge of the house, I sometimes still feel overwhelmed. It's such a challenge to multitask while watching a toddler! I'm looking forward to the day where I can cook freely knowing that Tristan can entertain himself and be safe without my constant supervision.

Normal parents with small children are often overwhelmed because of a lack of help. We cannot afford luxuries like nannies. An article about Hollywood's Dirtiest Little Secret: Nannies motivated me to write this blog post. We all suspect celebrities and very wealthy people to have lots of hired help and this article kind of confirms it. Really, Angelina Jolie has a staff of 25?! I'm not too surprise. What is so awful is that most celebrities don't give their help much credit and that is what the article points out. Instead, celebrities try to hide the fact that they have help and want to be seen as hands on mothers and fathers.

All celebrities have some kind of nanny and those that don't receive lots of help from their family. Of course they do. We are all human and it is just not humanly possible to do it all without help. It's okay too but just admit to it. They don't have to pretend to do everything on their own. We would understand. This is why I love people like Julia Roberts and Michelle Obama. They are not afraid to admit the fact that they have a lot of resources :)

Thursday and Friday at home with Tristan

This month Tristan started part time daycare. He had been full time up until now. Because of our trip to France, today was actually my first day at home with him. He woke up at the unusual time of 5:45AM and needless to say, my day felt really long. He did nap for a good 1 hour 20 minutes straight though. I used that time to eat lunch, clean up our lunch mess, and finish my last blog post about our trip to France. It was awesome :)

When the weather improved, I took Tristan outside. He needed a change in scenery. We both did. We walked to a nearby park after picking up my niece and we played for awhile in the playground. Then we were back home. The outing killed a couple of hours but it still felt really long.

I think overall it went pretty well. We spent some time going down the stairs for training. Tristan can go down unassisted if you talk to him and remind him to use the wall and basically coach him along the way. He can't be trusted though because a couple of times he just dove head first down. So bad. Tristan also sat on the potty more today and we sang a song together using sign language. I figure if I can't get work done with him here, I mind as well focus my energy on teaching him and spending quality time with him while he is still somewhat of a baby.

The day just felt long and a lot of work because it has been awhile since I have done this. He hasn't been sick at home since the end of March I think. Also, I fed him super messy food today and cleanup was no fun. I will definitely have to go out more because we will definitely drive each other nuts if we stay home all day. With it being summer and all, I no longer have any excuses. Time to get my butt out and get some exercise too!

Part time daycare begins in June

Hooray! Today was a good day. We got the news that Tristan will be able to go from full time daycare to part time daycare. That is what we wanted all along but since full time was available in January, I had to take it so that he would get in. Tristan will remain in the infant room for the month of June but will then move into the toddler room in July.

I am so pleased about June because we actually go away so it's perfect. A mom of one of the boys in the infant room just had another baby at the end of April. When they told me their mom wanted him at daycare full time now, I offered the swap. Their boy is in there 3 days a week and that was exactly what I wanted. Yay!

Although I still get to spend lots of time with Tristan every day even when he goes to daycare now, I feel bad not spending more. The past few months has been great and relaxing for me but honestly, I didn't need that much of a break. I don't do enough contract work to justify having him there full time right now. I know that may change down the road but I figure I can work smarter rather than longer :) What I made from my work never covered the month's daycare bill. Sad, I know :( Now, that he will be in daycare 3 days a week we will only be paying $798 every month instead of $1143. I can still do the same amount of work I already do so we will indeed be saving money. I am so relieved because June will be a terrible month for us. Not only are we traveling but we have big strata levies to pay. Ugh, I hate big bills!

In July, Tristan will be going into the toddler room, along with most of the other babies. They are all about the same age and during the summer, there is a big migration of kids at the daycare. The daycare only supports kids up to 5 years old so all of those kids will leave and everybody shifts up. I was told about 50 kids were getting moved between July and August. Basically, if I wanted full time, part time 2 days, or part time 3 days, I would likely get it right away. My preference was 3 days a weeks so that's what I got. That also means that any chance of me trying to find a full time job goes out the window. I'm okay with that as long as I can work on more contracts and get more iPhone app work out there. The future is still a big unknown for me.

Baby loves to greet Daddy

No, Daddy is not here to pick you up. It's just Mommy :( What can I say? Tristan loves his Daddy. For the past 3 months when Tristan first started daycare, I would drop him off in the morning and then in the afternoon, I would walk there and meet Jean-Louis half way and then we would pick Tristan up together. We both love picking Tristan up, especially Jean-Louis. In fact, I caught him smiling one time when we were about 2 minutes away from the daycare. I bug him about it so it's funny :) Tristan's face just lights up when he sees his Daddy. I can't help but smile myself :)

When we arrive at the daycare, Tristan runs to Jean-Louis each time with a big huge smile and hugs him. Each time! I think I have only gotten that kind of reception a couple of times. Even when I step in the door first, Tristan looks past me and searches for Jean-Louis. We actually put this to the test a few times and I don't believe he ever went to me first. Crazy, eh? He just loves his Daddy!

It's wonderful to see the loving bond Tristan and Jean-Louis have right now. It certainly wasn't always like that. Now, we know Tristan adores Jean-Louis but how come he doesn't act all happy when I pick him up? It seems that when kids get older, they tend to favor the parent that would side with them and baby them more. We haven't even begun disciplining him so I don't think that is it. When I got thinking about it, Tristan does the same thing at home when he is home sick with me. When the key goes in the front door, he is already running to see if Daddy is home. When I stayed home with Tristan the first year, Tristan learned that Daddy goes to work during the day and then Daddy comes home in the evening. He is so used to greeting Daddy in the late afternoon.

Yesterday, Jean-Louis started to commute on his bike to work. That means he will no longer be picking Tristan up with me. Well, he could but that would mean I would have to leave Tristan at daycare longer and we would be late for dinner and everything else. I went to pick Tristan up by myself yesterday and I think he was disappointed that I was the only one walking through the door. Poor baby. He was clearly waiting for his Daddy. Sigh. Maybe in a few months, he will get used to me picking him up and give me the kind of reception he is giving his Daddy right now. I just love seeing him all smiley and happy. Or maybe I should adjust our schedule and bring back Daddy? If Tristan heard that, he would be like YEAH!

Baby's 1st prescription medication

And it's for (drum roll.... ) conjunctivitis. Yes, Tristan still has it :( It was a bit of a tough call since we don't know for sure that it is a bacterial infection and his condition is not getting worst. It's either the same or very slowly getting better. Either way, I have to do something to speed things up. It's just ridiculous how many days he has missed daycare because of it.

I hear that daycares are really scared about anything to do with sickness from the eyes. Our doctor tells me that viral conjunctivitis is no more contagious than say the common cold with sneezing and coughing. Bacterial conjunctivitis is even less contagious since you would need to be in direct contact to spread it. Last Friday, one of the staff members at our daycare said that if Tristan was on antibiotics, then he could still come to daycare. I told our doctor this and she says that antibiotics will not make him any less contagious. Hopefully, they do get better on the antibiotics but they will still be contagious.

I can understand that you should keep sick kids at home but I have learned that it is just not always practical to do so if you need to work. As a result, many kids still go to daycare with a runny nose and cough. If a child has a cold for 2 weeks, keeping them at home for the first few days is a must but then as they recover, they still go to daycare. I know they do and that is how other kids get sick too. The problem is that there is not enough support and help for working parents with small children. If say your child gets sick once a month and then you need to keep them home two days, that equates to 24 days in a year. Most people who do not have the benefits cannot take that much unpaid leave from work to care for their child. The solution? Hire an on-call nanny if you can find one? Don't work full-time? In an ideal world, we would all leave our children at home until they were all better and then the sick rate at daycare would probably go down. Wouldn't that be nice!

After giving Tristan a chance to heal himself at home 3-4 days per eye without any treatment, I took him back to the doctor's for a consultation yesterday. The doctor seemed really knowledgeable about conjunctivitis. She says that since Tristan's eye does not appear pink, the infection is not on the eyeball itself. His infection is on the lining of the eyelid. When she looked underneath the eyelid, they were indeed red. At this point, it could be viral, bacterial, or likely both kinds of conjunctivitis. The only way of really knowing is to test it. We took a swab and sent it to the lab yesterday. Unfortunately, the lab results won't be ready until next week. The information will only feed our curious minds because I need Tristan to heal before then. I hate medicine and will only take it if absolutely necessary. The doctor said that we can give Tristan antibiotics to start and if the lab results are negative, discontinue giving it. Or we could just hold off and see if things will improve without anything. It's not uncommon for it to take this long to heal. Anyway, I held off for 24 hours and finally took the plunge today and filled the prescription she gave me. Damn it. If it's not bacterial at all, then the antibiotics will have no effect. It's just unfortunate we have to put antibiotics in his system to diagnose it.

It looks like Tristan will be home with me all week. That would mean he will have missed 6 days of daycare just for an eye infection. Does anyone else think this is silly? It's also crazy how this all panned out. If you go see a doctor about conjunctivitis or pink eye, they will all tell you to wait 3-4 days and if it doesn't get better by then, come back. But the way it works is that you will discover it in one eye first, then it will spread to the other eye (2 days after for us), then you need to wait 3-4 days for the last eye, then you see the doctor and if you get antibiotics, then it will take at least another day for you to see improvement. To be safe, you should then keep your child home for 48 hours after giving the antibiotics. And there you have it, you need to stay home from work for a week! For an eye infection! If you want to wait for the lab results before giving the antibiotics, then that could be a week and a half or more. For an eye infection!

No, I'm not that annoyed that I am missing a lot of work this week. I am kind of annoyed that I have had to keep him home so many days from daycare due to illness since he started in January though. I think the count is at 9 or 10 days so far. 2 or 3 colds, plus an eye infection. By the way, besides the eye infection, he is perfectly fine. No other symptoms of anything. He is as big of a little monkey as always. Just look at him!

The past couple of months has made me realize what a health hazard daycare really is to Tristan. I need to be here for him more than ever so I am going to give up looking for any new job. Once the sick rate goes down in the summer, I may start up my job search again. Sadly, that's just the reality of it for me (and for us) :(

Happy New Year 2010! Happy New Decade.

2009 was a good year because all three of us are still here safe and healthy. Tristan is thriving and like Jean-Louis puts it, his comprehension of the world is exploding right now. It's so exciting to see!

2009 was a bad year because we lost two family members on Jean-Louis' side. However, we did gain one on his side as well. Also, I may still have great health but I did catch a cold many times this year, including during our anniversary, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve, and now my birthday. I'm tired of being sick as a stay-at-home mom. When Tristan starts daycare next week, I will only catch more sickness and that totally scares me. How can I possibly become sick more than I already do?

Today, is the first day of 2010 and therefore also my birthday. To mark the occasion, I made us a nice French meal and Jean-Louis bought me a chestnut cake. That is about as much as we celebrate these days. The nice thing is that in the past it used to be just the two of us and now it is the three of us. I love it :)

It's not just a new year, it's a new decade. One year seems to go by fairly quickly when you think about it but 10 years - now that's a long time! 10 years ago, I already met Jean-Louis. I was an undergraduate student working towards my degree in Physics and Astronomy. I said I would not become a stay-at-home wife and mom and that I was looking for stay-at-home man. Jean-Louis knew that but it turns out I am way better at being the stay-at-home parent :)

What we are looking forward to in 2010

• Tristan finally talking
• Having Tristan potty trained
• Running and racing with Tristan in the jogging stroller
• Our trip to France in the Spring to see family
• Decorating for Christmas

Happy New Year!

Gradual entry into day care

This week we are introducing Tristan to day care a few hours each day. We started going yesterday and so far, there doesn't seem to be any problems. Yes, I am there with him so he doesn't flip out but I try to wander around and I let him do the same. He only clung onto me a few times but it was around the time of his nap and he hasn't been sleeping too well lately. We can clearly see two more teeth coming out so that may have something to do with it too. Some of the day care workers mentioned that they think he will be okay when I leave him at day care. I sure hope so.

The day care is pretty laid back. It's too cold right now and since a lot of the kids don't walk very well, none of them will go outside. They basically just roam around the room and play with various toys and interact with the staff members. There are 8 infants in the group and at least 2 staff members there at all times. They have to maintain the 4 to 1 ratio. From what I can observe, there are usually more on the floor, some times even 5 people since some of the staff from the other group come by to sit around too. Currently, there is a girl that is being trained there as well so there will always be 3 staff.

In a way, it is so strange being there. It's a bit boring because all you do is sit around all day, unless there is something to do like feeding or changing diapers. I think what it is is that the place is baby proof so you don't ever have to get up to chase babies away from things that could be dangerous. That is sort of what makes my life harder being at home alone. The staff interacts with the kids by reading to them, cuddling with them, singing, or whatever and some times they even just socialize with other staff members. Things are under control and the pace is rather slow. Pretty much everything we stay-at-home moms do, they do. Because of the nap schedule, it's rare that all 8 infants are up at the same time. During the lunch period, they are all expected to be up and eating together and that is the most hectic time of the day. I never really thought about what a day would be like at day care so I didn't know what to expect.

I'm running out of questions to ask so I'm not sure what to do with myself for the rest of the week. I think I will just try to encourage Tristan to play more with the others. I know he can play well independently but I want him to learn how to share and play with others. I could try to interact with the other kids more too but then I would just feel like one of the staff members. Some times, I feel like maybe I should ask if they need help with anything but I don't think that should be my role. I should probably just stay out of it and be more of an observer. Man, If I feel like this, I can't imagine Jean-Louis doing this with Tristan :) He would feel totally uncomfortable and totally out of place and want to end gradual entry after a day!

Here is a summary of what I have observed so far:

PROS

1. Friendly staff
2. Staff doesn't lose their cool (ever!)
3. Babies get to do crafts
4. Staff uses baby sign
5. Lots of small toys and books
6. Don't see anyone using their cell phones or tech gadgets
7. Baby kisses are given on their neck or heads
8. Highchairs are spray cleaned and disinfected after each child
   

CONS

1. No one takes off their shoes in the room and a lot of babies are crawling
2. Only 4 highchairs in the room
3. The room is pretty small and they stay in it all day
4. Strollers need to be parked outside the building (due to fire hazard)
5. Don't see water being offered to children regularly

I'll report some more by the end of the week. I kind of feel like a spy. I have never done this before so it's a learning experience for me too. I hope Tristan will interact with everyone and become more comfortable with all the staff members by the end of the week. It's a nice change for him this week to be out and playing with others. If anything, I hope he has a good time.

Just got accepted into daycare

Tristan will be starting daycare at the Burnaby Children's Centres Society on January 2nd, 2010. He will be there full time as part of their Infant group (ages 3 months to 18 months). I would have preferred part time but this was the only one available so we're taking it :) I wait listed Tristan since he was around 3 months old, which means it took 9 months to get him in! Out of the three places I wait listed him at, this is my first choice. It is only a 10 minute walk from our home and when I toured the place back in March, I really liked it. It is a group daycare and they are very organized and professional. They are also quite expensive; it will cost us $1110 every month.

With just over a month until he goes off to daycare, I'm already thinking ahead. What will I do with all that spare time? Well, first of all, anything can happen work-wise for me (or not). I may apply for a few contracts or jobs but if there isn't anything for me, I will do more consulting and I have lots of personal work to do that could keep me very busy for a couple of months.

Will I still breastfeed? Yes. Right now, I am only feeding first thing in the morning and again at night. Breastfeeding should not interfere with daycare at all.

Will I be ok dropping him off every day? I think so. I already went through it once so I think I should be fine the second time around. But I could be wrong. I also feel like he is a bit more independent now since he can walk, play more, and interact with people better. When we left him at daycare in September, all he could do was crawl. By January, Tristan will have had all his vaccinations as well. We're bringing him in for his 12 month shots early December and then his second dose of H1N1 and the seasonal flu shot maybe a week after that. This will definitely give us peace of mind knowing that he is protected in daycare. Both Jean-Louis and I will also have our flu shots by then too.

Will I miss Tristan? Big YES. But it will be great for both of us. In fact, I'm getting excited at the thought of the big changes in January :) Being a stay at home mom has been quite the amazing experience but I'm ready to work again and build on my career. Life is about to get a lot more exciting for all of us!

Why I look forward to Fridays

Friday is finally here. I have been waiting for it to come since Monday :)

I stay at home to take care of our baby and have been doing it since he was born over 10 months ago. I do not commute to work anymore so some times I don't even leave the house for days. You're probably wondering why I care so much about Friday when my full time job right now is taking care of our baby and on the weekend I don't exactly get time off. True, but on the weekend, I only have to take care of the baby part time and that makes a bit difference for me :)

In fact, I look forward to the evenings when my husband comes home. When he is home, I get to do other stuff like cook, eat, socialize with him, and shower. In a way that puts me in Mommy mode part time. Starting Friday evening right until Monday morning, I also get to be in that mode. You see! I love my Fridays!

There is a bit more to just being on duty part time. I wake up Friday mornings to #followfriday tweets and I always get excited when someone recommends me to follow on Twitter :) I also spend part of my day looking at online grocery flyers so I can plan our shopping trips. So that is another reason - I get to go out to the mall and shop and cook, which I love.

On the weekend, my sweet husband wakes up with the baby and lets me sleep in for 30 minutes to 1 hour. God bless! After feeding the baby when I wake up, I make us breakfast and he makes the coffee. I only have coffee on the weekend so I look forward to that as well! I usually get to work for a few hours, we watch dvds, and we go for afternoon strolls. Sometimes, we make plans to hang out with friends but mainly, we get things done around the house and just relax. Ahhhh... Fridays :)

What's on the agenda that is different this weekend? House cleaning, hair cut for my husband when the baby is sleeping, a visit to our new neighboring Waves coffee house, Thanksgiving cooking, and skype video social with our friend from New Zealand who just had her baby. Hey, when you are a stay-at-home-mom you would get excited about these things too!

We're all recovering from the cold

After a week of staying at home, we are all feeling better. Tristan started to show a lot of improvement after a few days. I think lots of good naps and my breastmilk helped him get better :) I started to feel sick too and it's been on and off for a few days now. This weekend, we finally left the house and as a result, I started to feel a bit worst. I think having too much to do and no nap during the day are also to blame. I'm okay though. This time around it is not nearly as bad for me as my last cold two months ago. Tristan is more or less back to normal now and Jean-Louis seems okay too. As a precaution, I am still dining us on sick food. This week we're having homemade spicy noodle soup!

Onto other more pleasant news, I think my efforts to try and fatten Tristan up the past couple of weeks is starting to pay off. The past week was a bit hard at times since he was sick and a bit more resistant. He is eating more now, although it is still hard to feed him some times :) We don't force him to eat anymore but we do trick him every now and then. Lately, I have been staring at him thinking that he looks a bit fatter these days. Jean-Louis agrees too. His face is rounder. Or maybe it's just me wanting it to be rounder? In any case, he is eating more and he is very regular and very healthy. If it turns out he is still a bit light weight, I'm okay with that as long as he is healthy.

Here is a photo of Tristan I took last week. He is all bundled up in warm clothes since he was sick and it was so cold here. The cold, the darkness, the rain, the dry hands, the cold allergy - all of it reminded me of the birth almost a year ago. Wow. Already. Kind of an unpleasant flashback I have to say. So very glad I am not there anymore :)