We tried holding toddler hostage in his highchair

Almost 10 years ago, we invited Jean-Louis' cousin, her husband, and their toddler over for lunch. We were living in Paris at the time and they were in Vernon in Normandy. Before they came down, I had asked his cousin if her toddler would eat salad rolls. Everyone I know likes salad rolls and it was one of Jean-Louis' favorite. It has shrimp, pork, mint, lettuce, bean sprouts and vermicelli all wrapped inside rice paper. You eat them by dipping them in a chee hou type sauce. It was summer, it was healthy and I thought it would be the perfect thing to make. I asked if our toddler guest would eat this. His cousin said maybe and told me what to leave out so I made a couple of separate ones just for him. When it came time to eating, everyone ate and loved the Vietnamese salad rolls, except the toddler. Now, I haven't been exposed to many toddlers back then. I was still in my 20s after all. Her toddler didn't even try it. He looked at it and said no. His parents tried to convince him to try it and did everything they could to have him eat some. I remember thinking, oh my god. What a picky little eater! Since the meal didn't work for him, we offered to open some crackers if he wanted some. He said yes so Jean-Louis opened a new pack of crackers. Right after it was opened, the toddler said he didn't want any anymore. Goodness! Then came more lecturing from his parents. He basically didn't eat anything at all and I can't remember if he drank anything either. It wasn't until the end of the day closer to dinner time did he feel hungry and wanted to eat something. I was told to make plain pasta and serve it with a bit of olive oil and salt. He ate it all!

Now that I have a toddler of my own, I understand what went on back then. Although, Tristan has never been that picky, he can be picky and when he does, we want to pull out our hair! I mean he ate salad rolls for the first time and liked it. Of course, eating outside of the home may be more challenging. First of all, we're very strict with him about what and how much he eats. If he doesn't eat a balanced meal, it kind of makes us mad. I always try to include foods from every food group when I cook and he has to eat his main meal before anything else. We have very high expectations from him but we always had and he knows it. For the most part, he has benefited well from it and eats all kinds of foods. When I say that Tristan is picky, I mean that he doesn't want to eat what we want him to eat or says no to something we offer him.

Last night, we tried something new. We held him hostage for the first time in his highchair. It lasted around 2 hours. I didn't want to do this so Jean-Louis was put in charge to watch him since it was his idea. How did this come about? I made easy food last night. I made ham and cheese sliders and served it with corn and pepper bake. We presented both of them to Tristan at the same time. After he ate the slider, he picked at his corn. There were yogurt, cheese, and fruit as usual for afterwards but he had to finish his main meal first. It didn't happen. This is maybe the third day in a row he has been picky like this. The same day, he came home from daycare with most of his hummus, half of his pita, and he had only taken a few bites from his corn on a cob. Earlier in the week, he chose to eat only the noodle and fish parts of his stir fry and didn't eat much of the bok choy or mushroom. We know he can eat way better than that so we got mad. He normally loves mushrooms and eats bok choy fine. We tried threatening him with removing his toys and told him we wouldn't read to him at night but he didn't care. He was even helping Jean-Louis remove his toys in the evening!

Every time this happens, I know Jean-Louis likes to blame daycare because they give him snacks and that spoils his appetite for his main meals. It's not really fair to blame them since what happens at daycare is nothing new. Of course, it doesn't help us either :(

We tried holding him hostage but after the trial last night, we're done with it. After tweeting about it, I started to receive many replies from people basically telling me "that's bad" and "don't do it." You know it's a hot topic when everyone on Twitter has something to say about it! It's great though because it probably saved us a few days of stress. Apparently, some of my followers were held hostage when they were children and they now resent their parents and have food issues. The idea of being held hostage never sat well with me anyway. How long would we be able to keep this up? I wasn't convinced it would work at all and it would just suck too much time. I also didn't want to be the one doing it and I felt sorry for Tristan. Were we punishing him for being a toddler again? Another dumb parenting idea.

What now? We're going to try to stay cool and relax a bit. The stress of feeding is what drives us to crazy ideas like holding a toddler hostage in his high chair :) He is only 2.5 years old. He must be going through a phase so we'll just continue doing what we're doing until the phase passes. There is nothing more we can do for now.

Every mom gets criticized for something

I recently read an article called The Mom-Judging Olympics: A competition nobody meant to enter. It goes through results from their survey asking moms what kinds of behavior would make them judge another mom. 26 000 moms were surveyed and 90% of them would judge another mom. I hate to admit it but I would be one of them.

Have a bratty kid? 66% of moms will judge you. It depends on the circumstance but if you brought a bratty kid to fine dining, I would sure judge you. Tristan is mostly well behaved, which is why we can travel with him and dine out with him. If he were different, we would definitely stay home. Ruining it for others would only ruin it for us even more.

Breast-feeding your 3 year old? 43% would judge you. I don't think I would judge you. I breastfed Tristan and can now understand why some people can be attached to this. I have no problem with breastfeeding as a way to provide milk for thirst but if it were used simply to soothe a bratty child, I would judge you.

Have an overweight child? 37% would judge you and yup, I would too.

Give your kid junk food? 34% would judge you. I wouldn't if I saw this for the first time. We're even beginning to give Tristan a bit of junk food tastings here and there. Even though, there are a lot of things he has not tried and I hope he doesn't eat any time soon like cheezies, flavored chips, McDonald burgers, and pop. If I knew that you were feeding your kid junk food daily, I would totally judge you. If you were feeding your 6 month old junk food, I would totally judge you. But these are sort of different questions, aren't they? I make my own healthy meals so of course I would judge you.

Let your kid watch TV/play video games too much? 32% will judge you. I would judge you. There is no reason your child should be doing this too much.

Co-sleep with your child? 23% would judge you. I would judge you but not harshly. I remember bringing Tristan into bed with us maybe for a few hours a couple of times when he was a baby. We were super tired and just couldn't handle it. We felt guilty every time since we didn't want to develop a habit and have him not sleep in his own bed. It was part of us being scared of too much attachment. Lucky for us the few hours of bed sharing had no effect on his sleeping habits. He sleeps great in his own bed and has been there since day one :)

You work too much? 20% would judge you. I wouldn't judge you, assuming you have proper childcare arranged for your child. I am a work-at-home-mom but I do most, if not all of my work while Tristan is in daycare. Having said that, I really don't over work. If anything, I would love to work more!

Didn't try to breast-feed? 18% would judge you. I would judge you. Not breastfeeding because you find out you can't or it's not your thing is cool. If you don't even try and I mean really try, that's uncool. Breastmilk is the best thing for your baby. Everyone knows it. You got to at least give it a good try.

There is something that didn't make it on their top 9 list, which surprised me. It's something I know I would be judged harshly for. Do you let your child cry it out for sleep training? I did this and was criticized for it. I made the mistake of commenting on an attached parenting site about the issue and then I got bashed over here on my own blog. I was totally outnumbered over there! What was I thinking?

No matter what you do as a parent, there will always be something for someone to criticize. I feel like Jean-Louis and I are pretty solid good parents. We are strict, yet loving, and gentle with Tristan. He is well behaved, polite, average sized, and sleeps well on his own in his own bed. He was breastfed for just over a year but I would have gone longer if he wanted me to. I love to cook and bake so most of what Tristan consumes is healthy and balanced foods. He only drinks water and milk. We rarely give him junky foods and we have no TV so he doesn't watch at all. We do let him play on the iPad maybe 5 to 10 mins a week, which is really nothing. He can play with his toys alone and he loves to read with us. We receive compliments about him a lot and it always makes us proud :)


Overall, it seems like we have it really great here. Ah, wrong. We let him cry it out when we sleep trained him. He didn't end up crying much but we were dying inside when it happened. We yell at him. Sometimes we lose our temper in front of him. We sometimes remove all his food if he refuses to eat or try to eat. That means no food at all until the next meal, which could be more than 12 hours later. We bribe him a lot with things like sweets or a DVD movie if he eats all his main meal. And so on. Basically, there are a lot of things you can criticize me for about parenting. It doesn't bother me as much now that Tristan is 2 1/2 years old. It bothered me back then when he was still a baby and parenting was so new to me. I know what kind of parent I am now and I'm pretty happy about it and that's all that really matters.

2 year developmental update

I kind of dreaded arriving at the terrible twos but now that we are here, I really don't mind it. Sure the tantrums are increasingly bad and it makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs too but if you remove that, raising a two year old is great!

SPEECH

I can't speak for all kids who arrive at two, but Tristan is a thrill to be around most of the time. He can speak in 4-5 word sentences now and has a good understanding of what we say to him in both English and French. He can pronounce a lot of words well and will attempt to pronounce almost anything you throw at him, even if it's not close. For instance, there is a Hawaiian fish called humuhumunukunukuapua'a (hoo-moo-hoo-moo-noo-koo-noo-koo-auhp-oo-ah-ah) but when he tries to copy, it's "hoo-moo-ah-ah." He understands basic concepts like hot/cold, big/small, happy/sad etc. He is learning how to be polite by saying please, thank-you, and excuse me. We find ourselves having to be what I consider overly polite, just to set a good example for him :) Most of the words he speaks are 1-2 syllables long.

Example of phrases he will say:

• Papa clean hands
• After eat, brush teeth (or take bath)
• Papa come home, hurry
• More please water
• Papa ride choo choo train
• Go up bus
• Dune (aka Tristan) take off Papa vest

CLOTHING

He is wearing anything from 18 months to 2 year old clothes. His ski outfit is 18 months and it fits perfectly, although the sleeves could even be an inch longer. Most of his clothes are 23 months to 2 years. He is starting to receive 3 year old clothes as gifts and they probably aren't overly big on him either. His shoe size is 6 or 7. We just bought him snow boots that are size 8 though.

FOOD & EATING

Tristan is not as picky as he was a few months ago. He is at the age where we can bribe him to eat his dinner before he will get any fruit for dessert. If we tell him one or two more spoons of food and then we can move on, he usually agrees and does it within a few minutes. He may not be happy about it but he does obey. He some times surprises us by eating a vegetable in his dish like watercress before eating the fish or chicken chunks, which are some of his favorites. Some times he eats everything we serve him and asks for more. He is definitely eating more these days than what he did last month. Maybe he is going through a growth spurt?

We allow Tristan some sweets, such as homemade sugar cookies (without icing), and he had a few bites of his birthday cake. When he ate it, he didn't ask for more than what we gave him. The taro cake also wasn't as sweet as your conventional birthday cake and there were real fruit on top as well. He hasn't tasted candy or chocolate yet. He is well fed so I don't think he feels like he is missing out on a lot :)

Tristan is only getting one bottle of milk a day now. We give him 220ml first thing in the morning. I think that sounds right for now since he also gets cheese and yogurt with some of his meals. We do paninis a lot, which always have cheese, and we have kefir pancakes twice a week or more. The oatmeal I make in the morning for him also has milk in it.

He doesn't make a big mess! We are thrilled about this progress :) We used to line the carpet with a garbage bag so that any food that landed on it wouldn't stain the carpet and it would be easier to clean up. We threw away that garbage bag over a month ago! Hooray! Tristan still drops food every now and then but most of the mess is in his lap or on the highchair. There have even been times where there were no mess at all!

BEHAVIOR

Tristan is very good at listening. Some times we have to train him a bit and then he catches on pretty quickly. We know he is trying to test us a lot so we are careful in what we allow or don't allow him to do. He tends to order us around but I think it's also because we tell him to do stuff all the time. We want him to be helpful and we need him to know that we are "the bosses." When he wouldn't get out of his chair to bring his finished milk bottle to the sink and wanted me to come and get it, I kept explaining to him that he could help by dropping it in the sink so that I could wash it for him. He didn't like that much and protested for a good 5-10 minutes. After a couple of days of this, he now automatically brings his bottle to the sink each time. He is teachable but some times it does take work and patience.

Tristan is very playful. He loves playing chase and he loves playing rough. He runs fast, climbs and jumps from almost anything. He does know his boundaries though and so far he hasn't hurt himself badly. It's nice that he is teachable :) We thought putting up the Christmas yesterday with all the glass ornaments on it would be a disaster but so far, Tristan has stayed away from it. If he does touch it, he knows to be gentle. Phew.

And then there are tantrums. They sometimes come from nowhere. Maybe we didn't let him do something he wanted to like jump off the counter. He knows he shouldn't but he just needs to pick a fight out of silly things so he can release his anger at us. Once the kicking, screaming, and tears are over, everything is forgotten and forgiven. Just like that. We get bad tantrums from him maybe 2 times a week. He protests a lot when we put a full bib on him (the ones with arms) before his meal, force brush his teeth after he has done it, and put him in the stroller when he wants to walk. It's just like that.

He makes funny faces all the time. I think he gets that one from me :) He also loves making funny noises. Some times making these noises hurts his throat and then he coughs. What a nut!



Making funny noises inside cup from Mommying Around on Vimeo.

POTTY TRAINING

We have been more relaxed in the potty training department because we don't want him to feel pressured. We also can't do it alone since daycare trains him differently. He seems more aware of his bladder now. He will tell us when he is peeing, but not before he pees. He tends to pee more often when I put him on the potty first thing in the morning now. Poos are still hit and miss. He usually tells us after he does it.

Here's a quick rundown of some of the good and bad right now.

GOOD:

• Sings/dances with you and then claps when it is done
• Eats well and is not as picky as before
• Is old enough to go play in the snow
• Can take to a selected number of family-friendly events and have a good time
• Has good understanding when we explain some things to him
• Has a much improved understanding of language overall and it's getting to be a joy to talk with him
• Likes to clean himself and doesn't like to have dirty hands
• Is very playful and has a wonderful laugh

BAD:

• He insists on doing everything on his own
• He throw tantrums out of frustration
• He's acquired this bad habit of letting saliva out of his mouth part way and then sucking it back up
• He protests when we brush his teeth
• Some times he clings to my legs when I am washing dishes, usually when he is sick of playing alone
• Doesn't listen to us as much as we would like

22 months developmental update

Tristan is 22 months old today. I haven't done developmental updates for awhile so I thought I would this time around. In no particular order, here are the updates.

A big boy but still baby-like:

In many ways, Tristan is such a big boy. He is speaking more and more every week and learning to potty. He goes up and down the stairs on his own now. He is a little daredevil and sometimes like to slide or jump down the stairs . He just likes to climb and jump off things, period. In the past several months, he sure has matured a lot. This is why I am sometimes surprised, he can still be so baby-like. Making funny faces or noises still makes him laugh hysterically. Baby entertainment still amuses him. If he gets upset either because one of us won't let him do something and he gets yelled at, he cries for the other parent. He runs around making funny noises. He's a monkey. He's a goof. All these things still remind me that he is still very much a baby.

Music and stories:

He can't make up his mind. What music does he want to hear? He'll first say "Daisy do" (aka Daisy Daisy or Bicycle built for two) and then once you play it, he says "no" and sign and make monkey noises. Now, he wants to listen to "Five little monkeys." Start playing that and he will say "Daisy do" etc. He has been doing this a lot! This week, he seems to be more interested in "Ashes, ashes... down!" (aka Ring around the Rosie).

Speaking of music, he likes to sing and read but since he doesn't know the words, he just mumble jumbles and hums the tune. There was this one hum he was doing for awhile and I had not idea what the music was. He repeatedly did it so I figured it was something he heard at daycare. The end part sounded like "dive jive... nanana." It was sort of driving me crazy trying to figure out what the song was. Then one day, he repeated it after I sang "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." The verse he was singing was "Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky." The tune was the same, the lyrics - not so much!

He recounts stories or things that happen days or weeks ago. When he hears about it or when he is at the location that it happened in. For example, I sprayed some lemon pedge on a big spider to chase it away by the fireplace. Tristan watched this from the couch and now won't stop recounting the story. Go near the fireplace or mention spider and he will go on and on about how mommy sprayed the spider :)

Speech:

He speaks like us. He would say something that is partly in English, partly in French and partly in Chinese. That's our fault. Instead of just sticking to one language we tend to speak a bit of everything. For myself, I focus on English but will say some things in Chinese. When I know that Tristan only knows how to identify something in French, I may say it in French. I'm not consistent and it may be screwing him up. Jean-Louis sort of does this too. He sneaks in Chinese here and there but he can't even say it properly.

Potty Training:

We're in full swing here with Tristan's potty training. It's a lot harder than I expected and is taking quite some time. Part of the problem I think is that we're not consistent with him because when he is in daycare three days a week, they don't put him on the potty a lot. Some days he will only sit on the potty once while he is there. Often it's 2 or 3 times. When Tristan is home with me, he is on the potty at least 7 times and we sit for 5 to 10 minutes each time. We sit longer if he tells me he needs to poo beforehand.

It's been hit and miss but lately there has been a lot of misses. It's getting to the point where I'm so frustrated some times that I actually get mad and want to go on strike. Maybe we're too hard on him and it's backfiring or maybe he's not ready after all. Sometimes I find myself waiting all day for a poop so I can try to catch it and when I miss and it's the only one of the day, I get so angry. It's terrible! I need to chill out :(

It's crazy how missed potty trips can make me so upset. At the same time, I find myself overjoyed when we have a successful potty trip. Like this morning when Tristan told me he had to "caca" (aka poo), I dropped everything I was doing, rushed him upstairs, and we sat and played with the etch-n-sketch for less than 5 minutes when he had a big poop in the potty. He cheered first and then I cheered. It was awesome! Gross but awesome :)

Sleep:

We are lucky. Tristan is a great sleeper. He had always slept a few hours less than average babies but when he does sleep, he sleeps well. He is sleeping more now than he did when he was less than a year old. We figure it's a growth spurt.

Tristan moved into his own room over a month ago and it was almost as though nothing changed. We also moved right next door to him. We're pretty much the same distance away, except that a wall separates us now. The first few days, he would wake up crying, just like the way he would wake up from an afternoon nap. That was the only difference I noticed. Now, he wakes up calling "mama" or "baba." When we step into the room, he signs and says "all done." Yup, he is all done sleeping!

Food:

Tristan is little Mr. Picky. I already spoke about his little picky attitude when he eats so I won't do that again here. The past few months, we have been more lenient with him about what he gets to eat. I remember when he first started the toddler room at daycare, I gave the staff there a small list of things he could eat from their snack list. I'm sure they all thought I was a high maintenance mom. He wasn't allowed any perogies, pizza, baked fries, sauces etc. They would only give him Shreddies, plain whole wheat toast (no butter - nothing), bagel and plain cream cheese, plain yogurt, veggies, and fruit. Now, he is having whole wheat toast with butter, some perogies, cheese pizza and if they accidently give him something like flavored yogurt, I would not flip out :) See! I'm not so uptight anymore :) This is sort of what I call gradual transition into the world of adult food. In the past month, he has even had bites of homemade bakes!

Teething:

Tristan has 10 teeth, including one molar at the bottom. He's got 3 more on its way. We can clearly see two more molars and another tooth at the top that is partly out already. I think the teething can be blamed for some of his crankiness lately.

Getting smart:

Tristan knows that he is not allowed to bring his big toys into the kitchen. He has a toy vacuum that he likes to push around. We tell him carpet-yes, kitchen floor-no. He repeats this and understands. The other day, Jean-Louis told me that he took the vacuum into the kitchen but he was lifting it above the ground. He told Jean-Louis he was lifting it and he walked into the kitchen. As long as the vacuum didn't touch the floor, it should be allowed, right? Nice try buddy.

He is very teachable now. He seems to know what his boundaries are with me and what they are with his dad. Around me he doesn't climb the chairs in the dining room and yank things off the table. With his dad, he does. Why? Because Jean-Louis let him do it a few times.

Our version of grilled cheese sandwiches

We make most of our grilled cheese sandwiches out of whole wheat or multi-grain bread rather than white bread. We rarely ever eat white bread anyway. When we have a choice, we'll get chicken or turkey deli meat instead of ham as well. Both salty but chicken and turkey has less fat. Every little thing helps, right? ;) Rather than buttering both tops of the bread, I'll either not butter at all because my panini grill can handle it or use mayonnaise instead.

Who doesn't like a grilled cheese sandwich? Before Tristan came along, I never really had grilled cheese sandwiches before. Weird, eh? I made a tuna melt before that was similar but I had no idea what it was called since I totally made it up. Then ever since we went to Little Nest and tried their grilled cheese sandwiches, I have been wanting to make some. Sure they aren't the healthiest things but I liked them! And kids LOVE them! We don't eat them all the time and I always try to make things healthier or serve something healthier on the side. Since we got our panini press, we've been making lots of grilled sandwiches like paninis and grilled cheese. It's just so easy!

The following is how we make our grilled cheese sandwiches now. I sort of stumbled upon it by accident when I was trying to get rid of leftover cooked yams. The yams add an extra sweet flavor and it looks like cheddar so it will probably even win over the picky eaters :) I feel a bit deceptive but it tastes good and it wasn't intentional.



GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES

Ingredients:

Multi-grain sliced bread
Cooked yam (sliced for easy spreading)
Ham, chicken, or turkey sliced deli meat
Medium cheddar cheese
Butter or Mayonnaise (both optional)



Take one slice of bread and spread some yam on one side. Top this with a few crumbles of cheese. Next is ham. Then top with cheese. Close this with a slice of bread. If you like, spread the top and bottom of the sandwich with butter or mayonnaise. Grill for a few minutes until cheese has melted and tops appear nicely toasted. Serve immediately while it's hot :)

Strawberry shortcake for all

Thanks to Chef Heidi Fink over at lip smacking, I made the strawberry shortcake recipe she posted and it is another keeper! It was easy to make, pretty, and delicious :)

We actually gave some to Tristan, which makes that the first cake he has ever tasted! We have been very picky about giving him sweets but since the ingredients for this cake sounded somewhat healthy, we decided to make him a version with less sugar than the version we had. The cake itself was the same but rather than sweetening the filling, I set aside plain whip cream and unsweetened strawberries for him. The cake part was the only thing that had added sugar and it wasn't a lot either. Plus, the recipe called for some whole wheat flour. I love recipes that call for whole wheat flour and still taste great :)



Tristan ate some of the cake but mostly the strawberries and whip cream. The unsweetened stuff :) I don't think he is into stuff like this yet. Maybe it's still too sweet for him? The other day, I fed in a juicy pluto plum and he actually asked for water part way through the feeding. I'm guessing it was too sweet for him.

Being creative when feeding a toddler

Tristan is 21 months old and he is picky about what he eats. He is generally a good eater but every now and then, he gives us a hard time. When he was young, he ate everything. Eating was a favorite activity for him until he was around 16 or 17 months old. We have been very careful to feed him only healthy balanced foods but it seems like toddler pickiness is unavoidable.

We have learned that what he will eat and how much he will eat depends on several things:

• The appearance of it
• The consistency of it (mushy versus hard to chew)
• The mood he is in
• Whether or not he knows what it is and likes it
• Whether or not he is hungry
• Whether or not he is bored of it
• How it is being served to him (i.e. in a plate, bowl, cup, with spoon, on your lap, in his chair etc.)
• Whether or not he receives praise for eating it

With all these variables, you wonder how he it is possible to even feed him, right? Well, he has been with us since day one and we mostly know how he is programmed. Mostly :) We generally know what he loves to eat. Regardless of some of the things that may turn him off in the list above, there are a few foods he will almost always eat.

Seldom does he refuse the following foods:

• Egg (I swear this is his favorite in the whole world)
• Fish (his favorite is black cod!)
• Tofu
• Plain rice
• Plain pasta
• Pear
• Banana
• Milk
  

When he is under the weather or teething really bad, he is more difficult and won't eat very much of anything. He has a nasty cough right now and doesn't seem to want to eat much of anything. When times are rough, we have to be extra creative but sometimes it's so exhausting!

Typically, we feed him in the highchair with a bowl and spoon and allow him to take as long as he wants. If it's something new and he is hungry, he'll eat fast and ask for more. If he doesn't want to eat, we'll know right away. From here, there are various things we will try.

Here is a scenario that may occur. When he won't even try it, we will sometimes force a bit in his mouth so that he tastes it. This often works for us :) Our rule is that he is not allow to reject something until he has tried it. If he still refuses, we will eat it ourselves with his spoon and make "mmm" noises. Yeah, this doesn't work too well. We feed him what we eat so he already sees us eating the same thing. Next up, we switch utensils on him or present the food in a different container. Sometimes, he will eat it from one of our spoons but we need to supervise him more. Still no? We feed him ourselves with our spoon and from our bowl of food, instead of his. This has worked a few times. Still shaking his head? We use distractions like music, we ask him about something like "where was daddy today?" or we tell him to blow his food because it is hot. Distractions can work quite well on him. I know when we are out of the house and pack his lunch, he tends to eat more of it because we feed him in an environment that is new and he likes to look at things and observe people when they walk by. Most of the time we wouldn't have to throw everything at him but during very difficult times, we do. If nothing works, we move on to the next course :(

He almost never rejects his dessert, which is fruit. However, we only give him what we would normally give him because we don't want him to get full on just fruit. We also don't want him to think that if he refuses his main dish that he can have more fruit. Depending on the situation, we may not even give him any fruit at all.

Some times we have backup food but making backup food kind of sucks. When Tristan doesn't eat much and hasn't been eating much for awhile, I will make backup food for him just so he will eat something. Backup food will usually consist of a dish we know he will eat such as a vegetable omelet or grilled sandwich. I remember our doctor telling us that "quantity is better than quality" when they are sick. However, we often do find that when he doesn't eat much and becomes quite hungry, he will eat almost anything you give him. We have skipped meals before when he was being too difficult with us :(

It's hard to keep baby food posts short because I always have too much to say. Heck, I could probably write a whole book on this :) Sometimes it's actually fun to experiment to see what works with him. Getting a toddler to eat something he won't is challenging so it often feels like such a victory when you succeed! I don't think there is anything we haven't tried by now. We usually tackle the problem over 20 minutes or so and if all fails, then we declare defeat.

Here are some examples of how we were able to get our toddler to eat:

1. He normally loves noodles but he must not be feeling too well. This happened last night actually. I took a noodle, held it long and strung it up high and into my mouth. He was amused and when I tried it on him, he ate it. We tried a few things first but none of them worked until we tried this. Even so, he only ate a few strands.
2. If he has been eating the same meal for a few sittings, he may be bored and refuse to eat it. Here is where we will add a new fresh ingredient or make an omelet out of it. He loves eggs! Add an egg to anything and he will at least try it!
3. Sick of the same cereal in the morning? I take each piece of cereal and form images or geometric shapes with them on his tray. He cheers. The distraction and amusement gets him to eat more.
4. We barbecued some cauliflower and zucchini and then I made a salad out of it. He didn't like it much after trying it. We offered it to him a few times and he refused to have any. We don't like to puree food for him anymore because he should be eating more firm foods but some times we have to in order to get him to eat more vegetables. I made a soup out of the vegetables, added a carrot to it, and that added another vegetable and gave it a nice orange color. I then cooked plain pasta and used the soup as a sauce. He ate lots of it! He loves pasta and he liked the color of the sauce. Honestly, it was very good and we all ate some :)
   

Toddler moods are strange. One day he may like something and another day he won't want anything to do with it. The exception is the list of his favorite foods above. Lately, he absolutely loves blueberries. He asks for them after every main course. It's hard to believe he once hated them. The same thing with strawberries, blackberries, corn etc. It really depends on his mood I think. Knowing this, we like to take advantage of his good moods. When he ate corn on the cob the other week, we decided to give him as much as he wanted. The next few days, we bought more corn and he would still eat them. Then all of a sudden, he stopped. We weren't feeding it to him at every meal so he was not bored of it. He just wasn't interested anymore. Similarly, one morning he was hungry for blackberries so I gave him tons, then when dinner came along and again the following morning, he wanted nothing to do with them. Blueberries on the other hand, he can eat that three times a day for several days straight!

Feeding a toddler can be challenging and we find ourselves improvising a lot in the kitchen. There's frustration but there is also the great feeling that you get when you see your toddler eating lots of food that you know is good for his health. Whether or not he will eat what we eat, we still offer it to him every time. We're hoping that one day, he will eventually eat and enjoy everything that we eat.

First day in the toddler room

The report was that Tristan had a good first day in the toddler room. He didn't even cry when I left him there this morning. The staff are different, the kids are different but he went through gradual entry the last week and a half and was very comfortable being over in the new room. Also in the report was that he ate lots of plain pasta for the afternoon snack, which daycare provided. I requested only plain pasta because I didn't want him to eat canned tomato sauce. Finally, the staff mentioned that Tristan loves one of the little girls. When I first heard that, I thought maybe he was trying to kiss and hug her all day. Nope. It turns out he was caught walking up to her and pushing her over. Just like that. Wow, that was embarrassing to hear. My sweet boy? It's so unlike him and it is definitely the first time I have heard this. My guess is that he saw someone else do it and is now copying them. He has been copying a lot lately. We definitely have to watch what we do and say around him.

Not only did he bully a little girl at daycare today, this evening he was a complete rebel. He knows his boundaries at home and tonight, he chose to ignore all that. Maybe he is receiving too much freedom at daycare? I don't know what that was about but we have to start disciplining him more. Luckily, I can avoid yelling "no" all the time by speaking Chinese to him. At least I have that.

How we are preparing for a long flight with our toddler

I have read articles about traveling with small children. I have spoken to many other moms on Twitter who have traveled with their kids. There is plenty we can do to make our long 20 hour journey more pleasurable with our 18 month old. First, I think we just need to be very organized and plan things well. That's my department so like most of my projects, I research and make sure I have enough time to figure and plan everything out.

There are a few tips I am following from the article "Fly and cry: Babies divide air travelers." Specifically, I'm going to do the following:

• Because of the change in cabin pressure, I'm going to make sure Tristan's water bottle is nearby so that I can let him drink when we take off or when we make our initial descent. In fact, we're going to offer him water constantly because the air is dry and he'll be thirsty.
  
• We're not going to drug Tristan. I know a lot of people do but I don't feel good about it at all. I can understand how some parents would be tempted though. Maybe if we remember, we will ask our doctor about it on Tuesday to see what she thinks and what she can recommend that would be safe.
• We're bringing along familiar toys and books from home, and we'll be taking shifts walking around the plane with him every so often. We'll do this even if he doesn't cry.
• We're bringing along new toys he has never seen before. I will wrap a few of them so that he can enjoy opening them.
• We'll both have our iPod and iPhones and all of Tristan's favorite music will be on it.
• We will try our best to quiet Tristan when he is too loud or is crying. As the article points out, "if other people see you trying, even if you're not succeeding, they will feel at least you're ... doing your best to stop it. And they'll have some sympathy for you."
• We have lots of snacks! Some are old favorites and others are fairly new. We have tested all the new snacks on him already but have only given them once or twice so he may not even remember. I may even wrap a box and put some snacks inside just for fun :)
  
• In case of emergency, we'll have backup outfits for everyone. And of course, we will all be dressed comfortably and for Tristan it will be clothes we can remove easily.
  

Since we're not purchasing a separate seat for Tristan and he sits with us, he won't be receiving a meal. I'm going to pack him a couple of meals and he can eat some of our food as well. I'm still trying to figure out what the best food should be though. I'm going to ask if the airline will let us borrow their fridge. If not, we will feed Tristan earlier and then give him lots of snacks like bread and fruit. We're allowed to bring as much milk as we need as well but the problem is we may need quite a bit and I'm worried that it may go bad if we can't borrow a fridge. Freezing milk and his meal has crossed my mind but I'm still not sure. I'm definitely going to make him cream cheese and salmon sandwiches since I know he loves that and he can eat that at room temperature. Once I contact the airline with all my food questions, I'll have a better idea of what to do.

The airline we are flying with, Air Transat, has a Kids Club parents can join to register their kids. If you register, you get a traveling bag for your child that includes activity books, games, colorful headphones etc. Fill in the information online and they will mail you your welcome kit. However, the club is for 2-11 year olds so I don't think Tristan will qualify for it :( I think he is old enough to enjoy some of those things so I may ask about this too. It seems like they may also give out the bags at the check-in counter.

Once we leave the house for our trip, our entire routine will go out the window. Well, I hope not everything so I'm going to program multiple alarms on my iPod. With our iPhone and iPod Touch, we will be able to view the times in both Paris and Vancouver at the same time. In fact, we can add as many different cities as we would like so we can see the time differences. Based on Vancouver time, I'm going to program meal, nap, and diaper times for Tristan. This way I won't have to worry about that at all :)

Tristan is 18 months old

At 18 months, Tristan is doing awesome. He is a normal size baby. I used to think he was a bit on the small size but he must have had a growth spurt because he looks normal compared to the other kids at daycare now. He still eats well, although it is getting harder and harder to feed him plain steamed vegetables. He is definitely picker with his food and is really starting to eat exactly what we eat now. He eats well with a soup and fork. He feeds himself dishes that are as thick as yogurt and he doesn't make a big mess. Anything less viscous gets quite messy. His face and tray is always messy but we haven't had to pick as much food off of the floor lately.

Once again, it seems as though he is in between clothing sizes again. Some clothes go from 12-18mo, 18-24mo, or just 18mo and Tristan is wearing all of those. I think I may be in some kind of denial about his growth because I still dress him in a few things that are 6-12mo. I keep telling myself one more time before he grows out of it but after the one time, I still won't pack it away. Now, I'm just waiting for the weather to change so I can really pack it away :) In a way, it is sort of sad because it's the much smaller clothes that are really cute and he is starting to wear big boy clothes now :( Diaper size 3 still fits well and it's a good thing too because we still have plenty! At 18 months, this is starting to mark the end of counting months. 24 months is next and then I will only be buying clothes for 2 years and up :( Today he is exactly 1 1/2 years old! See, I'm already counting in years! Oh my.

Sleep is still going well. He naps for around 45 minutes around noon and then sleeps at 9PM. Lately, he tends to freak out if he is alone so we stand in the room until he falls asleep. He wakes up at around 7AM. If anything, he is sleeping more now than he used to. Must be a growth spurt!

He can sort of say a few words but it's unclear if he understands them. He says "mama" and I think he mostly understands what that is. He says "dada" and "papa" too. He can say "bye" and "hi" or at least that is what it sounds like. He also tries to mimic us when we speak but he can't pronounce properly. You can definitely see he is trying. Somehow in trying to make sense of all his baby talk, we missed his first word. To us, he really isn't speaking with full comprehension of any word so we sort of don't count any. However, he has been repeatedly saying words like dada and mama for awhile. He makes the "uh-oh" sound a lot too and he is using it in the correct way. For instance, when something drops on the floor. He uses a lot of body language and facial expressions too when he is trying to tell us something. Most of the time we just look at him blankly. We still sign to each other and he is picking up new signs faster now.

Just the beginning of toddlerhood

Tristan is your typical active toddler. The only time you can expect to see him fairly still is when he is drinking milk or when he sleeps. When he first started daycare in January, I remembered one of the staff there saying that when the babies start to push the highchair around the room, that is a sign that they are ready to leave the Infant room and go into the Toddler room. I thought that was strange because Tristan was already pushing the highchair at home way before he started daycare.

He has been in the infant room for four months now and I am actually quite anxious for him to leave soon. I think after about 2 months, when he was 15 months old, he must have been pretty bored. The infant room is very small and if the kids don't go outside, I can see how it could be very boring for them to be there all day. I think the main entertainment is the staff and other babies. The toddler room is so much more exciting and once they go into that program, the staff puts them on the potty right away. That is something I'm looking forward to :)

Tristan loves to imitate what people do. Big people and small people. Tristan likes to do what we do and copy us, which is nothing new. Apparently, he does this at daycare too. One of the boys at daycare and Tristan imitate each other. One of them would throw their hands in the air and the other would too. Then they would both laugh. Something like that. Also, one of the girls likes to hug and kiss Tristan. When I first saw her do it, I was a bit uncomfortable. Tristan just stood still the first time but then started to push her away and run away when she tried it again, the second time and the third time. The little girl had a runny nose and she was trying to kiss him on the mouth. I actually took kleenex out of my pocket to wipe his mouth afterwards. Then, when I went to pick him up that same day, I saw the little girl do it again and this time Tristan did it back. Oh my goodness! Tristan is making out with the little blond girl from daycare! At just 17 months? Anyway, when they tried to hug and kiss each other, they ending up knocking each other over. I went to catch them but the little girl hit herself on my knee a bit and cried. Yup. That was a quick end to that make-out session. I wonder how often this goes on at daycare. Or maybe I don't want to know. What kind of surprises me is that the staff don't intervene at all. Should we be encouraging this sort of behavior towards strangers? I don't know.

Our once sweet baby is showing signs of throwing tantrums such as stomping his feet and crying when we don't let him have something. Sometimes he rolls on the floor and has a fit too. We ignore him for the most part. I think we're getting a preview of what people call the "terrible twos." It doesn't happen a lot but we would prefer not to see it at all :)

For the past week or so, he has been picky with his food. I hear this is a toddler phase as well. He wasn't sick or anything else so we can only conclude that he was just picky. We fed him how we had always fed him but some times he would refuse to even try the food. This is all stuff that he has eaten and loved before like broccoli, carrots, peas, noodles, and even some fruit. Actually, there was a day where he basically only wanted to eat cereal, fruit, and milk. What did we do? Well, we just kept trying and if he wouldn't eat, we would just skip that course and move onto fruit. We didn't give him any more fruit than we would normally give him because we didn't want him full on just fruit. We figured once he was hungry, he would want to eat. We packed him the same food again to daycare and he refused to eat it there too. It's the first time he has ever refused to eat his main dish at daycare. They were somewhat shocked too. Anyhow, this went on for 2 days and then he decided to eat again. And then he decided not to. It seemed like almost every other day he would eat a bit more of the main dish. That was Friday.

On the weekend, Tristan ate everything we offered him. Not a lot but he ate some of everything, which was good enough for us. I think new food and alternating between two main dishes helped. Things were even better today. Tonight, I made French veal stew with green olives, mushrooms, onions and served it with rice. It has been awhile since I made that. Tristan ate so much we thought he was starving. His daycare report said that he ate most of his food too. He must have really liked the dish and he is probably still hungry too from not eating too much last week. I don't know if we have our old Tristan back yet but we'll give it a week before introducing plain steamed vegetables to him again. If this week goes well, maybe we'll steam a little something green next week or at the end of this week.

Baby loves yogurt, no he doesn't, but yes he does

Let me tell you something about babies. They always change their minds about what they like to eat. One day they can't get enough of something and then the next, they don't want anything to do with it. Or the other way around where they are not interested in the food and then decide oh yeah, I like this!

If we let the baby try a new food, we introduce it over and over, even though he doesn't want to eat it. Depending on his reaction, we may try again the following week. Our rule is that he has to try it first before rejecting it, otherwise we won't really know if he likes it or not. As it turns out, even if they accept it, that doesn't mean they will want to eat it again the next time. If they reject it, that may just mean that they are not in the mood for it at the moment. It's so confusing sometimes!

Plain yogurt was one of Tristan's first foods and he absolutely loved it. It was right up there with bread and cheese as one of his favorites. We fed him a lot of yogurt and for awhile it was actually a daily or every other day treat. A month or so ago, he decided he didn't like yogurt. He would spit it out every time it was in his mouth. Daycare was even surprised because he never does that. We buy different brands all the time and he liked them all. After he rejected it for a few days, I tried switching up the brand but I still got the same reaction. It was so weird. It's as though waking up one day and claiming, I don't like ice cream - yuck! Imagine adults doing that.

A week ago, we decided to try the yogurt again. It has been awhile so we figured why not? We know that sometimes when we bring back old food that he didn't like much, he would be all over it. I call it the novelty effect :) We gave him some Olympic Krema plain yogurt and at first he sort of spat it out. Seconds later, he wanted more. Success! It has been a week now and yes, yogurt is back on the diet :)

Actually, it's not just yogurt. He will sometimes eat lots of something and then decide he doesn't like it anymore, only to rediscover he actually does like it another week. This happened with cauliflower, potatos, strawberries, and blueberries. All the moms reading this are probably nodding their heads in agreement. Most little toddlers are like this, right? I wonder when they grow out of it.

Still on the gastro diet for diarrhea

It has been just over a week now since Tristan had a stomach flu. The vomiting stopped after two days and then the diarrhea took over for a couple of days. He is still having what daycare calls "mushy" bowel movements so we're still keeping him on the gastro diet. He was doing quite well during the middle of the week so we decided to slowly introduce a bit more fruit and vegetable in his diet but then it got a bit worst. It's hard to give him low-fiber foods because we always concentrate on purchasing foods that are high in fiber. I don't think I have eaten white sandwich bread for years!



Last week, the doctor sent us home with a sheet listing the foods we should be avoiding and foods that we should be feeding Tristan. I would have typed it out but was too lazy :) We have been working off of the list all week in preparing his foods. The other hard part about this food selection is that it doesn't give him a lot of variety. Luckily, he is still eating but that is because there is nothing else and he is hungry!

He has been on the gastro diet for a week now and it's pretty boring. We keep coming back to the same things: white rice, white pasta, chicken meat, egg-salmon omelette, eggs, cheese, rice crackers, bananas, and apples. It may sound like a lot but imagine repeating that for 3 meals a day, plus 2 snacks. Boring! At least boring for what Tristan is used to.

We also haven't been feeding him a lot, just in case he vomits again. We are increasing the milk offerings each day and are now giving him about 140-160ML of milk 3 times a day. His normal intake is 180ML of milk 3 times a day. It's so ironic because we have always been giving him foods that are high in fiber so that he wouldn't be constipated and now, we have to do the reverse. He always eats brown pasta and whole wheat bread and had only tried white pasta once in the past. Now, we kind of want him constipated so we can return back to our normal diet. How much more white food does he need to get there? Well, I hope we'll get there soon!

Sickness update - it was the stomach flu!

Tristan is much better but is still recovering. He is actually back at daycare today. We went to the doctors on Friday and had him checked out. We barely got an appointment that day too but they sympathized with me when I told them we tried 2 other walk-in clinics and still couldn't see a doctor. Our doctor said that this could be a sign of a flu coming up or it could be a stomach bug. After I dropped him off at daycare this morning, I found out that the stomach flu is going around so that is definitely what Tristan has. The infant room got hit by it, including the staff that work there and apparently, it's in the toddler room too. These things sure spread fast!

Tristan has been on a gastro diet since Friday. Basically, we need to avoid fiber, wheat, vegetables, and most fruits. It's kind of crazy because that is the sort of diet Tristan is always on. We always offer him things that are high in fiber. Even our rice crispy is made from organic brown rice! We aren't feeding him a lot in case he vomits again but he does have to eat and drink frequently. Even though he was still having diarrhea, we figured that was okay since his body was still cleansing and he needs to get rid of all the bad stuff first. He has been eating plain pasta, bananas, plain chicken, white congee in chicken broth, plain bagels, and organic rice mum-mums biscuits. Throughout the day, he drinks lots of water. We only began giving him a bit of milk again yesterday. So far, no vomit :) His diarrhea is slowly going away as well. Hooray!

Back to normal, back to daycare

Today is the start of the first full week of daycare for Tristan. At least I hope it will be. We stopped giving him antibiotics for his pink eye on Saturday. That pretty much means we are back to normal and life goes on for all of us. Right? Sometimes, we can't help but think there is something else disturbing him because he is quite a bit of trouble these days. He seems easily agitated and is becoming picky at the dinner table again. Are his molars coming out? I don't feel anything at the back of his gums at the moment. He has a small tooth coming out in the front but it can't be that. Maybe this is all normal because he is getting used to daycare where he has all the freedom in the world and then he comes home and we have all these boundaries. He is venturing into places at home where he is not suppose to and he knows it too. Sometimes when we yell at him and say no, he slowly drops himself to the ground and rolls over like he is going to sleep. What is up with that? Maybe he saw someone at daycare do it and is now imitating that person. So bizarre!

The past week with Tristan at home made me appreciate having daycare even more. Sure he gets sick more and he is allowed to get away with throwing food at daycare etc. but overall, daycare is a blessing for us, especially for me. Tristan is such a monkey and I am getting tired of running after him and saying no. The problem is our place is just not baby proof enough. There are so many things that are dangerous like the stairs, fireplace, sharp objects in the kitchen drawers, and dirty places we don't like him to touch or step on like the hallway, window sill etc. There are just too many restrictions and it sometimes feels like a high-paced full time job just keeping him away from all of these things. We get frustrated and so does he.

Besides running after my little monkey last week, we did get to enjoy some quality time together. We read together, sang, danced, played with his toys, and went for walks. We also got the chance to practice more sign language and learn a few new ones as well. We got to enjoy lots of potty time too. Tristan is really getting used to seeing it and wanting to sit on it, even if it's just for a minute. The goal right now is not to actually train him but to get him familiar with being on the potty and thinking it's fun to sit on one. When I pee, I have him sit on it right across from me. He usually doesn't stay sitting though. He would rather stand by me or throw things in the bathtub. Go figure! The other good thing is that he is now often telling us his diaper is dirty after he poos. A few times he even told us before he went and maybe when he was peeing but we're not totally sure about the pee part. It's a good sign and we are definitely headed towards the right direction :)

Baby has conjunctivitis (a.k.a pink eye)

When we picked up Tristan today from daycare, we were surprised to hear that he had goo in his eye and that we should take him to the doctors. For eye poo? Nope. Apparently, it was green and yellow in his left eye and is likely contagious. If that is the case, he is not allowed to be in daycare. In fact, I think they were trying to tell us nicely that he was not allowed to come back unless we checked him out and he is declared noncontagious. We would need a note from the doctor saying that he was noncontagious if we were to bring him back to daycare tomorrow. So from daycare, we walked straight to the walk-in clinic :( I don't really get it because he was perfectly fine when I dropped him off. Can it really happen that quickly?

The doctor examined him and said almost immediately that he had conjunctivitis or pink eye. I asked how he got it and the doctor said it is likely from someone at daycare. It's viral or bacterial but in both cases, it would resolve itself in 3-4 days. The only treatment is cleaning it, keeping his hands clean (because he will likely rub his eyes a lot), and applying a warm compress on it as often as possible. If it doesn't get better on its own or gets worst, we will need to get antibiotics. Apparently, it's going around because this was only one of a handful of cases the doctor has seen this week. Great. So Tristan is stuck at home with me tomorrow. Besides the eye, he seems ok. There are a few things that are odd but it is hard to say. He vomited his milk 2 days ago but it may not be related at all. He doesn't seem to like plain yogurt lately but again that could be something else. The doctor says that the conjunctivitis could be related to a cold in that it could be a sign that one is coming up. Terrific :( He was sick only a week ago!

So I wanted to post a picture of Tristan today but I don't think anyone wants to see his yucky eye. Instead, here is a picture of him eating part of his dinner. I made some baby sushi for Tristan to try tonight. He seemed to like it since it was a novelty for him. He was picking the rice off of the nori sheet but I think that was because I used too much nori and he can't really chew with only his front teeth. I think I will try to cut them into smaller pieces tomorrow and see if he will eat more of the nori. For the sushi, I reduced the amount of rice vinegar and sugar I added. I smeared avocado over the rice and ripped pieces off for him. It was rather messy but he doesn't care about presentation :) I also did some with papaya. If only I had cream cheese, that would be good with papaya too! Maybe next time :)

Mommy loves to dress the baby (and blushes)

I never played with dolls when I was a child. I don't recall ever owning a doll. I do remember I was given one when I was too old to play with dolls so I never played with it. I was probably something like 10 years old. I guess I am making up for it now! With my real baby, I just love dressing him up. Until he is old enough to have an opinion about what he wants to wear, I have the full freedom in dressing him the way I like. Jean-Louis gives his input here and there but he doesn't really care much. I think he is probably just glad he doesn't have to be in charge of dress up or clothes shopping. Fine with me!

Today, one of the daycare staff told me that she loves the fact that Tristan matches from head to toe. Instead of taking that as a compliment, I actually found myself a bit embarrassed. I must appear like one of those Stepford wives (or moms) where everything has to be perfect all the time. His food is homemade and nicely cut up all the time. Everything has a sticker label on it. His clothes match and he arrives well groomed every day. I could go on but the list won't help in my argument that I really am not perfect. It's true I am trying to be the best mom I can be. Who's not? I'm just lucky I have more time on my hands than other moms and don't mind doing all these things. Tristan may appear all perfect to the outsider but that's because I disguise it as so. Well, not always. He is definitely well taken care of but things could be much much better. I don't do a lot of things that I probably should as well but if I talk about them, I will once again get criticized and it sort of feels rotten being judged all the time as a mother. Yes, Tristan sleeps through the night and has been doing so since he was very young but that's because we put him through sleep training at 6 months. We're not going to apologized for it because it turned out to be one of our best decisions. We are all much happier now as a result. I better stop there before I say too much and start getting hate messages again from other parents. Back to the clothes!

Here is another outfit I just love from Gymboree. It's a pair of pirate monkey overalls with matching bodysuit. Overalls are the cutest thing on baby boys and I love all the monkey themes. Nothing suits him more at this point. He really is a monkey and daycare even says so! They say he is into everything and he is fast too. Haha :)

The many faces of feeding

In the highchair sitting or eating is one of the most photographed places in our house. We like to be clean but Tristan enjoys being messy. We know this is just part of the process of him learning how to eat clean so we just sigh and then we grab the camera :) He'll probably be a little mad that we're showing these pictures of him online or he may just laugh about them one day. If he doesn't laugh about these, he will certainly laugh at all the others I won't dare show.