Monday, May 25, 2009

Afraid of spoiling the baby

I just let Tristan cry in the exersaucer for 8 minutes and I videotaped a part of it so that he could see himself having a cow one day. I did it because I thought he was crying for attention. He didn't seem tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. I tried many times to place him on the floor so he could play with his toys but he protested. Usually when he is fussy, I would start to play with him first and then leave him but it didn't work this time. I finally carried him to calm him down and then I started it again. I put him down to play but he wouldn't. Fine. It was about time to feed him so I nursed him and after just one side, he passed out. Now, he is in his crib napping. So far so good. I was wrong. He was still tired. He usually naps 1-2 hrs straight but it wasn't the case this weekend and I thought maybe he was on a different schedule now.

I don't want Tristan to rely on me holding him or playing with him too much. I sometimes leave him to cry until it becomes a screaming cry and then I take him. I read that is bad since babies will learn that screaming works. Allowing them to cry a little bit longer each time is what you are supposed to do. It's hard for me, as his mother, to tolerate him crying so much with a wet face and choking on his salvia between each scream. I'm trying my best to be cool with it but babies can sense your emotions and know that you are really not ok. It's so hard to be a good mother when every thing you do or don't do gets criticized by someone. Jean-Louis thinks I give Tristan too much attention. But then again, if it were up to him, he would have had Tristan cry it out at his first month. We talked this weekend about this because I wanted him to see where I was coming from and understand why it was so hard for me. It may have helped just a bit but I'm not sure.

There will definitely be changes and Tristan will be allowed to cry more but at the level I'm comfortable with. I don't want to spoil him and I know I need to act fast or it will get much harder. As I see it, the window of opportunity is here since he is just 6 months old and it's not too late yet.

Yes, no more noise coming from the baby monitor! Looks like Tristan is still enjoying his nap :) Phew.


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