Friday, September 10, 2010

Tristan is an only child and very social

The article "The only child: not a loner?" talks about how growing up as the only child does not harm the child's social skills. I am not surprised but that's good to know it is supported by a study!

The article states that a child without much interaction until kindergarten will have just as many friends as any other child by the time they reach middle school. It is speculated that an only child in this situation tends to be adult-centric and as the other kids age and become more adult-like, the child can then better relate to them.

Of course this study makes me think of Tristan and what he will be like when he grows up. Both Jean-Louis and I are not very social people and so far we have been surprised at how social Tristan is. Even before he started daycare, he liked being around others. He wasn't as attached to us as I thought he was and would sometimes even let strangers hold him for a bit. Everyone said he was a very "alert" baby because he would just stare and look at everything. Now that he is in daycare, which would disqualify him from the above study, he is even more social. He loves being around other kids. At the park, he would automatically follow other kids around. If they run, he would too. He would think it's part of a game and of course he is playing :)

For the first year of his life, we spend most of our days inside just the two of us or just the three of us. Because of this, I was a bit worried Tristan would have a hard time adjusting to daycare. When the staff at daycare met him and we did gradual entry, they told me he was going to be "easy," I just had to see it first to believe it. He accepted daycare in 5 days where some kids took a month or longer. When we went away on holiday for a few weeks and then returned, he was sad but he didn't cry. I hear that some of the kids even have a hard time back at daycare on Mondays after being away for the weekend. Now, I'm a believer :)

I love that Tristan is a social kid. I don't want him to end up anti-social like Jean-Louis and I. He is being raised totally different though. Jean-Louis was the only child and so was his dad. They are both somewhat anti-social but I think it was just the way they were raised. I have more real-life friends than Jean-Louis but I still wish I had more good friends. I want Tristan to have lots of good friends so that he will have a strong support system to help him through his life. I have a good feeling about Tristan so far and studies like the one mentioned above are encouraging.


harriet glynn said...

Theo is super super social as well and will be an only for life so I'm very cognisant of the issues of onlies. He prefers to be around lots of people especially little kids even though he tend to tackle them. He actually squeals when we pass a schoolyard he gets so excited. I feel like I'm hurting him by NOT having him in daycare.

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