Monday, October 19, 2009

My breastfeeding days are almost over

The first month I started breastfeeding, I could not imagine lasting 6 months. When 6 months came around, breastfeeding seemed so easy so I decided to continue to 12 months. It is now 11 months. 3 breast infections, 1 breast yeast infection, countless blisters and clogged milk ducts, and 2 colds later, I am still breastfeeding. In fact, I have a blister and clogged ducts right now! Boy, do they hurt :( So even after all this, somehow I just refuse to stop. As long as he still wants it, I am willing to feed him. Besides, I am still home and I don't have to worry about packing milk or feeding in public so it's easy.

There were times where I thought Tristan was not interested in me breastfeeding him anymore. It was actually quite depressing being rejected. He would not be interested after a minute or sometimes won't even want to feed. Usually by the next feeding session or next day, he would be fine. I guess they are easily distracted at this age and more interested in solid food. I surprised myself by feeling sad over it since it was my plan all along to stop after a year and that time is almost up. I should probably start to wean him now.

It should be a time of celebration. 1 month to go! Then I will be able to do anything, go anywhere, wear all my old clothes and bras, drink wine etc. I have been waiting for the end of my breastfeeding days forever it seems. As that time approaches though, I'm feeling a bit bummed. I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because I have grown so attached to it and I don't want to deny him any of my milk if he still wants it. Also, the benefits of him acquiring my antibodies and digestive enzymes and all those goodies are also giving me reasons to hang on even longer. Well, 12 months is not a hard deadline so depending on the situation, I may not have to stop all together.


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