Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Grateful for Jean-Louis and daycare

Tonight I read an article featured on CNN on Why we get mad at our husbands. It starts off as though it was me writing the article. Jean-Louis and I just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this past August too! Then I read on and in between the laughter here and there, I came to realize how Jean-Louis could be viewed as a super-dad to the average person. To me, he is just a good dad. We have always shared chores and responsibilities so I did not expect anything less when we had a child. After reading the article I feel even luckier to have him.

There was a followup article titled Mad At Dad Part Two: How to Get Past the Anger and it mentioned that "there is a message that fathers who pitch in are somehow special." The article talks about how to get fathers to pitch in more at home and encourages a fifty-fifty partnership. At home, I do more but Jean-Louis does way more on the day-job front. It all sort of balances out. We are happy about how things are working out. We both work, contribute to chores, and we both get to spend a lot of time with Tristan too. When we can, we both try to pick Tristan up from daycare together. I know it doesn't take both of us to go but we want to. He is only going to be this young once. Jean-Louis and I pretty much do everything together. It has always been like that.

I don't get angry much thanks to Jean-Louis and daycare. I am extremely grateful for these resources. I have a lot of me time and it's great. Many of the women out there who are angry have too much on their plate and they don't have the resources to help them. It's understandable. I would probably be on anxiety pills if I were them. I have Jean-Louis who pitches in at home a lot. Jean-Louis cleans the bathrooms, vacuums, plays with Tristan a lot, gives Tristan a bath five times a week, does the dishes every night, puts Tristan to sleep every night, and let's me sleep in on the weekends. We all go to the mall together to grocery shop and he usually watches Tristan in the store while I walk around and shop. When it's a party day, I do all the cooking but Jean-Louis will tiny up the living room and sweep the floors without being asked. Honestly, I think this is all normal and every husband and father should be contributing where they can. All the fathers I know are hands-on, maybe not as hands-on as Jean-Louis but they do a lot too. The fact that society views this as "special" is sort of sad.

I also have a great daycare nearby. It allows me plenty of time to get work done, run chores and do whatever I want for me time. If anything, I feel like I need to do more. I'm working more these days so that feels great. When Tristan was in daycare and I wasn't working much, I felt a lot of guilt since we were "losing" income and I was available to take care of him. Thank goodness we're no longer in that situation. I love this flexible schedule! I know one day I will return to working full time so right now I'm enjoying being a part time stay-at-home mom and part time work-at-home mom. Yes, I still get angry from time to time but nothing like the examples in those articles above that I read. Reading something like that really makes you appreciate what you have. Thanks to Jean-Louis and daycare, I feel pretty lucky! :)


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